The New York Post reported recently that Cameron Diaz had given up eating bacon, had sworn off the swine, when she learned that pigs have the mental capacity of a 3-year-old. I suppose that's a good idea. Not eating 3-year-olds, I mean. Wait until they get older and fattier, I say. No, wait. That's not it. Diaz was fine with eating pigs when she thought they were smarter than toddlers. Dumb pigs? Leave 'em alone, she says! Or something like that. Her star shines bright, that one.

Sometimes I think I might be Superman.
If so, then alcoholic beverages are my kryptonite.
Which means I come from the planet Alcohol.
Otherwise known as Delaware.